I have tried to work under these conditions, and even if the concert goes well, something felt wrong. It came to me that I don't need the detour to experience what I don't want. Such realizations has lead me to make some drastic decisions about my musical life last year.
I am also not interested in pretending to like those concerts where I can feel the musicians are squeezing the juice out of their exhausted bodies and soul, trying to survive the demands in concert. I also don't want to deny that I feel quite uncomfortable to see musicians selling their looks and bodies on stage.
I don't want to be part of collective dehumanization and commercialization for musicians. Patterns of such are now being recognized more and more. I want to be the one who steps out of these conditions, which has been a norm for many years.
Now, I am also not saying that I will never return to those less ideal environment. I will return to those places, when I can see that I am capable of lifting these place up with my presence. However, that will take some personal work for me to be ready for that.
Professionalism comes from the deep love and curiosity of music and humanness. Beauty comes from within. Acting professional or acting beautiful has nothing to do with professionalism and beauty.
Ying-Hsueh, in Copenhagen